


bully (4 u)

by poalimal



Series: Kids.mp3 [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drabble, Gen, Kids.mp3, POV Outsider, Thor is bad at crushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 03:58:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8148409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poalimal/pseuds/poalimal
Summary: Thor Odison: 100% casual human being!





	

 

'Thor Odinson,' Sam bellowed, 'you're nothin' more than a bully!' And then he emptied the papery contents of the trash bin all over Thor's head.

Thor gave Steve dark looks for days, as if it was somehow _his_ fault Sam didn't like people who picked on his best friend.

' _Second_  best friend,' Bucky said. He was in Ms Quintanilla's class two halls away - which meant the only time all three of them got to see each other was during lunch. Bucky also didn't like Thor, and was disappointed that his elaborate fake snake prank would never see the light of day.

'Look, I like you both, you're great guys,' Sam said peaceably, 'but Misty Knight is still my best friend. Sorry!' Apparently they'd gone to the same church for years. Some people, thought Steve, had all the luck.

'Misty _Knight_ ,' Bucky said, astonished and betrayed. 'She's a _girl_!' Steve stopped himself from pointing out that Misty Knight was the very prettiest girl: he felt it would not be favourably received. 'Plus she put _gum_ in my hair.'

'Gumhair was such a good look for you, though,' said Sam, cackling. 'You oughta bring that back. Give the people what they want.'

'The gum really did bring out your eyes,' said Steve, sweetly, backing Sam up. Bucky scowled, and whumped them both.

-

Anyway Thor left Steve more or less alone after that. Which sealed it: Sam was _awesome_.

-

Apparently someone else thought so, too. When Valentine's Day came around, everyone brought in candy for everyone else, as usual, but someone left a card and a huge candy sun on Sam's desk after recess. The rays were made out of wrapped lemon Starbursts, the eyes and mouth out of crushed lemon Skittles. A few of the right-eye Skittles had gotten lost in transit, though, so it kinda looked like a pirate sun.

The inside of the card simply said, _U R MY SAM-SHINE_ , in big glittery letters.

' _Sam-shine_?' Sam said, tilting the sun over to see if there was a name on the bottom. (There wasn't.) He looked confused, but goofy-happy. 'Like, what?'

'I think it's supposed to be sun-shine,' Steve explained. 'Like,' he sung a little, ' _you are my sunshine, my only sunshine_ \--'

'You're prolly right,' said Thor, who had been casually hovering nearby. He did not look up from his nails when Sam and Steve turned to stare at him. 'I mean, I'm not saying I know, because I definitely don't - but that's prolly, um. That's prolly what the card's about. Ummm.' He fidgeted. 'Bye.' 

The two of them watched him stalk stiffly away. Had he always been this awkward? Steve wondered. 

'--He is _so_ weird,' Sam said dismissively, shaking his head. Steve stared at him in disbelief. 'Anyway,' Sam added, grinning, 'you gone help me eat up this candy or what?'

Steve sighed, plucked off a Starburst, and resigned himself to dodging Thor's glowers for the rest of the day.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired a while ago by shea butter somethin on tumblr. ur gr8 sheabuttersomethin - keep doin what u do


End file.
